I woke up last week to a major computer melt down. At the time of writing, I'm still waiting to see if any data can be retrieved. This has turned into an opportunity to practice letting go.
Willing to lose everything: all my documents, Internet favorites, emails and addresses -- my only regret will be losing work important to the community. Quite surprisingly, what freedom I've felt!
I've become aware how often I choose to hold on to "stuff," that in the end leaves me a prisoner -- whether it's an ideology about the way things should be; a belief about myself, the world or God; a physical object; an attitude...…
It's not easy letting go. This particular situation was thrust upon me. Don't know if I'd ever consciously choose to let go in such a grand scale!
Being upset wouldn't bring the data back, so I've allowed myself to experience, rather than fight, the grief over the loss. This has opened my heart to release what I hold precious, and given me a willingness to be led in a new direction.
Thanks to my spiritual director, Ann, I have a helpful body meditation I practice in the times I do struggle to let go:
I hold both fists tight in front of my body, palms down, elbows against sides.
Next, I rotate fists, still clinched tight, towards the ceiling.
Then I relax the grasp just a little to allow space between the fingers and palms.
(If that's as far as I can go, that's okay. I allow space for God to enter the situation. It's like saying "I'm willing to be willing.")
When ready, I slowly begin to extend arms out and away from my body while opening fingers.
It's a vulnerable feeling at first, but in the end leads to peace, freedom and growth.
(Added note, March 24th...It's official, electrical spike completely wiped out hard drive. All data lost. And, yes, it was plugged into a surge protector. The day it happened we had several surges in a row. Guess it was just too much. Well, hope to have new hard drive and start fresh by next week.
P.S....If you're a friend, would you please send me an email so I'll have your address again? Thanks!)
Thursday, March 23, 2006
Monday, March 13, 2006
Nothing but Sap, Fire and Love
Lift four gallons of sap (in a 5-gallon bucket).
Pour through filters into another bucket.
Lift this same four gallons of sap
and pour into the evaporator.
If the evaporator is full, pour into holding barrel.
By the end of a good run, we've usually lifted and poured three-times-over more than 100 gallons of sap.
It looks just like water yet has a wonderful flavor of sweetness.
And, that's all it is...water and minerals of the earth turned to sugar.
We add heat.
Lots of heat.
It boils all day and all night. The water is evaporated back into the atmosphere. It takes 24 hours to evaporate 100 gallons of sap into about 10 gallons that is then ready to be transferred into the finishing pan, where it is boiled down further until it becomes about 3 gallons of maple syrup.
If you take the syrup and heat to a certain temperature, remove and stir until the color changes, then pour into molds, it becomes maple candy. If you heat it further it will become a fine powdery substance - maple sugar.
We gather around the kitchen like kids entralled by the process that's happening before our eyes.
We are not doing this the high-volume factory way. We're in intimate communion with the sugar maple trees on the property, with the sap they give us. We collect by hand. Pour by hand. We're with the sap through the entire process. It's not just another bottle of maple syrup to us. It's something we've poured ourselves into, given up normal night's sleep to be with, allowed our bodies to ache from pouring gallons upon gallons of sap.
And we wouldn't have it any other way.
The parents and children of the school who we've shared this process with are amazed that all it takes to make maple syrup is sap from the trees and a heat source -- nothing else is added.
Except when we make it there's one added ingredient...
Love.
Pour through filters into another bucket.
Lift this same four gallons of sap
and pour into the evaporator.
If the evaporator is full, pour into holding barrel.
By the end of a good run, we've usually lifted and poured three-times-over more than 100 gallons of sap.
It looks just like water yet has a wonderful flavor of sweetness.
And, that's all it is...water and minerals of the earth turned to sugar.
We add heat.
Lots of heat.
It boils all day and all night. The water is evaporated back into the atmosphere. It takes 24 hours to evaporate 100 gallons of sap into about 10 gallons that is then ready to be transferred into the finishing pan, where it is boiled down further until it becomes about 3 gallons of maple syrup.
If you take the syrup and heat to a certain temperature, remove and stir until the color changes, then pour into molds, it becomes maple candy. If you heat it further it will become a fine powdery substance - maple sugar.
We gather around the kitchen like kids entralled by the process that's happening before our eyes.
We are not doing this the high-volume factory way. We're in intimate communion with the sugar maple trees on the property, with the sap they give us. We collect by hand. Pour by hand. We're with the sap through the entire process. It's not just another bottle of maple syrup to us. It's something we've poured ourselves into, given up normal night's sleep to be with, allowed our bodies to ache from pouring gallons upon gallons of sap.
And we wouldn't have it any other way.
The parents and children of the school who we've shared this process with are amazed that all it takes to make maple syrup is sap from the trees and a heat source -- nothing else is added.
Except when we make it there's one added ingredient...
Love.
Wednesday, March 01, 2006
Remember...
"Remember...
you are dust,
and unto dust
you shall return."
These are words we heard today as ashes were "imposed" on our foreheads -- an odd ritual when you stop to think about it. I looked up the word "impose."
To "impose" something is to apply or establish something as if by authority, or to push or force upon another; such as imposing a tax, or imposing one's will upon another.
It makes me wonder, exactly, who is imposing what onto whom. (Besides the obvious answer of the priest imposing ashes upon me.) I've been pondering this all day.
Then as I've been writing this entry, a thought came to me. (Perhaps an inspiration of the Spirit?) This is a day for me to impose upon myself, my mind, the remembrance of who I am and my place in the universe.
We not only come from the Earth, we are an intricate part of the Earth. I read once that everyone who ever lived upon earth is still here. There's a scientific explanation that Sr. Catherine Grace explains clearly. I can't remember the specifics, but it has to do with the fact that there are a set number of molecules or atoms (or something like that), and that number never changes. As people die or matter decomposes, those molecules are released, transformed and rebirthed into something new.
And all of this started with a very humble beginning 13.7 billion years ago.
So I would not be amiss in saying:
Remember...
you are stardust,
and unto stardust
you shall return.
you are dust,
and unto dust
you shall return."
These are words we heard today as ashes were "imposed" on our foreheads -- an odd ritual when you stop to think about it. I looked up the word "impose."
To "impose" something is to apply or establish something as if by authority, or to push or force upon another; such as imposing a tax, or imposing one's will upon another.
It makes me wonder, exactly, who is imposing what onto whom. (Besides the obvious answer of the priest imposing ashes upon me.) I've been pondering this all day.
Then as I've been writing this entry, a thought came to me. (Perhaps an inspiration of the Spirit?) This is a day for me to impose upon myself, my mind, the remembrance of who I am and my place in the universe.
We not only come from the Earth, we are an intricate part of the Earth. I read once that everyone who ever lived upon earth is still here. There's a scientific explanation that Sr. Catherine Grace explains clearly. I can't remember the specifics, but it has to do with the fact that there are a set number of molecules or atoms (or something like that), and that number never changes. As people die or matter decomposes, those molecules are released, transformed and rebirthed into something new.
And all of this started with a very humble beginning 13.7 billion years ago.
So I would not be amiss in saying:
Remember...
you are stardust,
and unto stardust
you shall return.
