An Unexpected Opportunity

I woke up last week to a major computer melt down. At the time of writing, I'm still waiting to see if any data can be retrieved. This has turned into an opportunity to practice letting go.

Willing to lose everything: all my documents, Internet favorites, emails and addresses -- my only regret will be losing work important to the community. Quite surprisingly, what freedom I've felt!

I've become aware how often I choose to hold on to "stuff," that in the end leaves me a prisoner -- whether it's an ideology about the way things should be; a belief about myself, the world or God; a physical object; an attitude...…

It's not easy letting go. This particular situation was thrust upon me. Don't know if I'd ever consciously choose to let go in such a grand scale!

Being upset wouldn't bring the data back, so I've allowed myself to experience, rather than fight, the grief over the loss. This has opened my heart to release what I hold precious, and given me a willingness to be led in a new direction.

Thanks to my spiritual director, Ann, I have a helpful body meditation I practice in the times I do struggle to let go:

I hold both fists tight in front of my body, palms down, elbows against sides.
Next, I rotate fists, still clinched tight, towards the ceiling.
Then I relax the grasp just a little to allow space between the fingers and palms.
(If that's as far as I can go, that's okay. I allow space for God to enter the situation. It's like saying "I'm willing to be willing.")
When ready, I slowly begin to extend arms out and away from my body while opening fingers.

It's a vulnerable feeling at first, but in the end leads to peace, freedom and growth.

(Added note, March 24th...It's official, electrical spike completely wiped out hard drive. All data lost. And, yes, it was plugged into a surge protector. The day it happened we had several surges in a row. Guess it was just too much. Well, hope to have new hard drive and start fresh by next week.
P.S....If you're a friend, would you please send me an email so I'll have your address again? Thanks!)