Thoughts Matter

Sometimes when I begin meditation my body and mind go: "Oh, I know what this is," and settle down right away. Sometimes I'm inundated with thoughts. It's normal for thoughts to float in and out of awareness when meditating. Centering Prayer is a great technique for dealing with them.

I'm increasinly become more and more aware of how thoughts influence emotions. The other day I started thinking about someone and a situation in my past and I felt my shoulders tighten, teeth clench and a shot of adrenaline causing my heart to race -- anger. Less than 10 minutes later I was thinking about my soul sister and that should she go to seminary I will really miss her. And I signed deeply, my chest sank with a heavy feeling, and my eyes got a little misty -- I felt sadness. That lead me to thinking about my childhood and moving every six months to two years. How I never was able to establish any long-term friendships. And my head sank low and I turned inward as if going into a shell -- I was feeling lonely.

Good thing I was in my meditation chair! I think the Spirit must have tapped (okay, maybe whacked!) me on the head, because I finally "woke up" to what was going on and realized my changing thoughts were shifting my emotions around -- all within a 10 to 15 minute span!!

I had an image of popcorn in a pan of oil, each kernel representing a thought. As a thought "popped" into my mind, I'd have a reaction (feeling). You know how popcorn popping speeds up the longer the kernels sit in the hot oil? Well, so it was for me once I'd stepped on the thought/emotion train. Each thought (and accompanying emotion) was leading to another and another, faster and faster. Anyway, that gentle tap on the head by the Spirit helped me get off the emotion train. And with intention and purposeful focus I redirected my thoughts to Simon, who was lying on the couch nearby. I thought about how much love I feel for this wonderful creature. And quickly I was able to calm myself, take a deep breath and enter into meditation.

There was a time in my life when I was rarely consciously aware of my thoughts and would simply experience wave after wave of emotions. One of the benefits mediation has brought into my life is a greater awareness of thoughts so that I've been able to lessen the power they hold over my emotions.

Thoughts do affect emotions. Thoughts do matter.

For a deeper look about the spiritual impact of thoughts in our life, I recommend Thoughts Matter by Mary Margaret Funk, O.S.B.